You came to me for a tantric session. Okay fine, a neo-tantric session.
Believe it or not, most providers who brand themselves as tantric actually do believe in providing an actual tantra-focused session. They aren’t just using it as “code” for something else.
Not saying there aren’t those who use it as code for something else, but I suspect those are not the majority.
Most of the tantra providers I know have actually taken the time to educate themselves on what makes a session tantric versus a regular massage.
Not that one is better than the other, but that they have different intentions.
And no it’s not just because the erotic aspect is welcomed. We actually do value and want to incorporate the spiritual aspect of tantra. Although I try not to use that word too much because it can be easy to misconstrue, by spiritual here, I just mean holding our connection with reverence and veneration.
As well, many of us have spent thousands of dollars attending tantra workshops to deepen knowledge about our craft.
Culture of Impatience
We find ourselves in an era where things often unfold at a rapid pace.
It has become the norm, and I’m curious about how this might have influenced our ability to be patient – not only with the external world but also within ourselves.
Our bodies, our sensations, our ability to let in and savor good feelings, you know, such as pleasure?
For me, I notice that when I start to accept shorter sessions, basically, anything less than an hour, I start to lose my grounding as I work with clients who have booked longer sessions.
I start to get impatient, looking at the clock more.
Typically I prefer not to even bother to look at the clock, but instead get lost in the touch and breath connection with a client.
Often, even an hour is too short, but understandable. Ideally, a tantric provider would spend the first 15-30 mins just grounding into their connection with the client, whether that’s via meditation, breathing, some mild yoga, clothed cuddling, holding, or even deep connected verbal check ins.
In working with tantric energy, we’re really not trying to rush to an end goal, and in fact, for most people, tantra teaches you to do what might seem counterintuitive and paradoxical: take focus away from the goal while letting the goal be welcomed.
I find that 80 to 90 minutes is the sweet spot —and of course, 1 hour is perfectly fine while 2 hours is savory and heavenly .
I am an advocate for people slowing down, pausing, turning off their phone, and letting themselves feel deeply. Let go of the do-do-do-do. Give back to yourself.
That alone is one of the most healing things we can do for ourselves. And I want it for you, it’s why I do the work that I do.
xoxo, Aries